Stuff on My Mind Right Now.

Life happens, and our job here on earth is to deal with that fact.

Sometimes, you may not understand people who profess the same faith as you. Thats ok. That’s where the faith comes in …you have to trust that God has the best intentions for you and that he will take care of you regardless of any situation you may come into contact with.

There will also be times when you feel like you arent respected, revered, and admired by people who are important to you. This is a tough one. I am finding that the best thing to do in that situation is to find a way to make yourself feel better….give yourself that pat on the back. I am having trouble with this one  at this time. I want to eat to live, I want to love myself like I never had before. I dont want to seek approval from anyone else anymore. I want to look in the mirror and seriously respect who I am seeing. ( I have friends and family who love who I am, but I do want to see what they see in me…) I realize that respect must come from exercising, eating correctly, keeping my outward appearances up, speaking up for myself, being altruistic, and letting go of pain. I have to do this to stay alive. I must do this. For myself.

And those times may come where you feel restless and wish to pursue more education, or travel, or explore a hobby. Taking time and discovering where that itch is coming from is important. The presence of that itch means its time for you to grow, to explore, to widen your mind. It’s scary, but hey.

I am at a point in my life where I just wish to be left alone to drink coffee all day and watch the sunset. I cannot wait till the day when my emotions, physical being, and my psyche get into sync.

Random Things To Type About

Argh. I begin a blog and neglect to keep it up. Its been a month!!! Okay whatever….

Im finally back into the working world as of tomorrow. I’ve been at home, job searching, learning to cook, volunteering my time at my church and watching The Golden Girls, for the last 8 or so months.  Those four things…that’s.all. But I am thankful of course!! Could have been worse.

Damn near drove me batty, however.

I was supposed to use this time to learn some songs on my guitar.

I was supposed to start writing that screenplay I’ve been “writing” for 10 years.

I was supposed to read up on some soc books to keep my mind sharp.

Hell, I was supposed to exercise.

Yikes.

Well, I did get rest, and it looks like it. Even lost 10 pounds.

Either way, I am ready to get to work. And, I wont delude myself that this job will be glorious, or easy, or everything I have ever wanted. But it is something I have done before,and well,  it will pay well and…..Im just ready to get started.

 

 

Two Dollar Tuesday: Month Calendar for Project Life

Two Dollar Tuesday: Month Calendar for Project Life.       Check this out!

If a Tree Fell In a Forest….

Not to wax super poetic…but you know how a flower blooms..like how its powerfully, slowly and quietly done? I think sometimes life can be that way. We, at times, change and evolve and grow so loudly …so rapidly that there is no time to really understand…like really understand whats going on. The change is so LOUD..so fast….so blatant. And dont get me wrong…I am not implying that ‘fireworky” change is bad. I am just noting contrasts here….

I posted a video in the previous post…its a favorite song of mine by Peter Gabriel but redone in a slower and softer way. The song is about change in a way..boldness and fast change….and when the song is remixed with the chilled out background music it almost sounds eerie. Its a bold song with a soft ,slow beat.

(I am long winded writing wise.)

What I am attempting to say that sometimes we can change and evolve in big ways…quietly and in a paced way. Some changes in your life, reader, may not require posts or loud proclamations or alarms. These changes sometimes are not fast, right here and right now. And sometimes, lack of public recognition of our changes keeps us in healthy mindsets. And that’s okay. In this new society of transparency, microwaved lives, easy fame and coveted aspirations..sometimes we crave that public pat on the back along with the user friendly “1.2.3.” formula for a particular happiness and a map to the easy road to success.

Maybe, sometimes we are better for the rocks and speed bumps and quiet times on our roads to where our change happens.

Big Time Remix…

Maybe there is a message in there for you

To you

 

Its overwhelmingly wonderful that I get to spend the rest of my days with  someone I get butterflies-stars-hearts feelings from every single day

There is nothing comparable to the feeling of true love

My heart beats for you.

xoxo

- me

What Keeps You From Your Dreams?

If you are one of those people who have been able to follow your dreams with certainty, conviction and determination…Congrats and God Bless You.

If you are one of those folks, like me, who got distracted along the road to your destiny by events, excuses, fear, or laziness….. pull up a chair and listen to me. Not because I have the answers…but just because I would like you to listen.

While I was in undergrad, I took a semester off from school due to my grades. I let them fall, and I enrolled in a few classes at the local community college in order to get things straight again. Only a few people know this about me.  I could give you plenty of very sad reasons why those grades fell…but in the end, it doesnt matter. You can’t give explanations on a transcript, can you?

Either way, even though I over came that obstacle….I allowed that failure overshadow every decision I made for a few years. I automatically self-insured myself that I would fail at everything I did for years to come.  And even though I received a MA degree with a good GPA, and held jobs where I made differences in the lives of people and had a solid work history,.made good money and made several positive moves in my life after my undergrad experience,  at every low point..i beat myself up severely and only saw where I failed. I refused to see where I overcame…which in turn stopped me from reaching my (Ph.D Social Work/Social Policy) goal.

This period of unemployment has be especially rough for me….in more ways than one…..and it dredges up my long ago past where I made mistakes with money. As I got older, I learned…and made better decisions…but this unemployement threatens to reverse all of that. And after so many interviews and sending out more resumes and applications than I am able to count….I get frustrated…and feel helpless…because for so long I knew, that If i wasnt good at or for anything else in life…at least I could work.  :) I feel like a failure sometimes…and then the old experiences come up in my mind……

I just can’t afford to get stuck in a rut, however…and reader, neither can you. Everyone has a story. Many stories are way…way worse than this one above. These failures…this roadblock…these temporary hard times…..they cannot be the end of your story. Let them be just a chapter….or even a few pages. And don’t dwell in them, please don’t.  Remember the mountains as well as the valleys…remember how you got through…use that as motivation to get to your goals in life.  Please don’t let failures delay or  rob you from your dreams. Only one life is given to you…no re-winds are allowed.

In the meanwhile, I’ll have to make another checklist and a detailed plan on how to prepare myself for my dream. I have made many, and didnt follow through…but I wont give up….

 

Hi, my name is Jasmaine….

He I am again …blogging. I am actually exited. I have a lot of time on my hands these days so I have no excuse. I blogged on Xanga consistently for a few years..then Blogger for a couple. I am one who likes to switch things up often, so here I am trying WordPress.  I’ve heard great things, so im expecting great things.

I wanted this to be a speciality blog of some sort…but unfortunately I am not a specialist at much. I love music…but not so much that I have an extensive collection (but I can lie and say I do because my husband does). I like books…but all I read these days is Zombie fiction (maybe I am an expert at that!).  I like hair care stuff…but I am just satisfied if my fine hair stays down and unfrizzed during any given day..so there.

There are a few things that I am working on …. like getting a job..learning how to play my guitar better…..losing a little weight…but OMG that would be a boring blog to just focus on those things.  So I will focus on everything.

I like talking about politics (I am in between on what I am…a Democrat or something else …maybe independent…I am still researching). Social mores ain social media is also something that I spend a lot of time on Twitter ranting about. Sometimes I am a douche about it, so I try to be more careful with what I say.

I am an aunt to three lovely kids under the age of three…the sister to two beautiful women…the child of two hardworking parents and the wife of a loving man who is a Minister.

I went from being a working woman to an Stay at Home Wife.  From the Midwest to the South I came. Non-Denom church to Baptist.

I have a lot to write about…and maybe nothing at all. But as Celie said “Im Here”…:)